Feelings, Stupidity, Righteousness & everything in between

To me, you are still only a small boy,
just like a hundred thousand other small boys.
And I have no need of you. And you in turn have no need of me.
To you, I’m just a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.
.
But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To me, you shall be unique in the world.
To you, I shall be unique in the world.

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One only ever understands what one tames.

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I shall watch you out of the corner of my eye and you will say nothing:
words are the source of misunderstandings.
But each day you may sit a little closer to me.

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You are responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.
You are responsible for your rose.
The Fox

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I remembered the fox:
you run the risk of a few tears when you allow yourself to be tamed…
The Narrator

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*I love the Fox & I am the little prince. :)

New year

The truth is deep down inside me I know I'm wanting. Yearning for that person who will finally love and "save" me. I want to feel desired, cherished and yearned for. But behind those wantings are the fear.

I am afraid the get hurt, again. My desire for masochism and other martyr acts have already been exhausted. It is finally the time when I'm entitled for even a shred of hedonism.

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*Excerpt. 010107

Year ender

So I thought this was my year. The year when I'm starting the end and beginning something.. good and I thought maybe it would be the year that I will finally fall and be loved. I can't dismiss the possibility that maybe he did or still does but at this or from that point rather it became futile. I've finally killed the chances or possibilities brewing between us. I must and I had finally let myself go and search for someone else, someone worthy (I believe , maybe). I haven't found him yet but I have opened doors for other who are willing. I am actually thinking that maybe I have opened it too much that I even invited some unconsciously (though not really unwanted).

As of now I/m still uncertain if next year I may finally be able to find "him" but I am contented with my optimism and openness. I know I can't push myself towards it but I can't stop myself either. If it comes or not I'm ok.

*original date written 12/30/06